Writing and imaging posting test.

I have to say I was a little disappointed by The Bible. I’ve seen many reviewers call it ‘life changing’ and promise that it contains profound wisdom and divine knowledge, as well as it being ‘the best selling book of all time’, but I wouldn’t go as far with my praise. The Bible is comprised of two shorter stories with one recurring character who appears regularly to tell the other characters how badly they’re messing up.

It starts off with some Sci-fi elements, as the character ‘God’ creates the universe within a week and then stuffs it full of great and wonderful things. I think it’s worth noting that God is also the author of this book, which I thought reeked of egotism, but I let it slide. We’re then introduced to two other characters, a man and a woman, who don’t get much in the way of a back story. The only thing we know about them is that they just appeared one day and that they were created so utterly stupid that they thought they could hide from an all-knowing and all-seeing God after siding with his arch nemesis, a talking snake.

This God guy punishes them in a fair and measured way for their ignorance – by condemning the rest of their race to misery, sin and injustice for the rest of time. Meanwhile, his arch nemesis the snake got away with just a few legs lopped off. When you start off with such a stupid pair of people it’s obvious that inbreeding their genes is only going to make them worse, so after all of the incest and murder that their children get up too, God wipes the slate clean and kills off the entire human race, save for one guy in a boat.

It all goes a bit quiet after that as God takes a step back, maybe feeling a bit guilty after his extermination of an entire planet. Then a new bearded hero arises in the form of Moses and God decides to tone down his rage, focusing instead on being a racist. After picking favourites and plaguing the Egyptians for an undisclosed amount of time, God decides to send his son down amongst the people to sort them out once and for all. If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em!

God’s son is called Jesus (probably to be played by Gerard Butler in a film adaptation), but Jesus is also God and a ghost too! The only real Godly characteristics Jesus has from the outset is his killer beard and knack for reeling off a wicked anecdote. You might think God being on Earth would be greeted with harmony and rejoice, but instead the reaction of the people is pretty far-fetched as they choose to spurn and persecute the guy, despite him trying to impress them with free alcohol and feeding 5000 festival goers with one fish.

Eventually the people that God created get a bit sick and tired of him being around, showing off and telling the same old stories, so they decide to crucify him. Jesus is double-crossed by Judas, one of his right-hand men. Judas feels pretty bad about selling out his friend so he commits suicide, only to return as Dracula in the sequel 2000 years later. Like every good superhero, Jesus has a crisis of confidence and temporarily loses his powers, but it couldn’t have come at a worse time as he is brutally tortured and murdered by Jews and Romans. Luckily he reacquires them in time to reincarnate from the dead and float back up to Heaven, suggesting that the all-powerful God couldn’t even survive for a few years on Earth, unlike the rest of us mere mortals!

The story was littered with fantastical events and a fair few plot holes, whilst the Deus Ex Machina twist was used far too often. The characters were introduced at random and given no back story, and they spoke in a language that was so difficult to understand that even Shakespeare would have to scratch his head. There were some legends along the way, like Samson and Jesus’ bodyguard, Peter, but most of the other humans were just flood fodder, or there to be tortured to prove a point.

It combines many themes and genres, from science-fiction, homophobia, infanticide, incest, racism, genocide and war to apocalyptic survival, horror and ultra-violence. Overall, most of the characters are too stupid to feel any connection with, I mean – I wouldn’t go around nailing God to a cross, and my wife would be out on the street if she was pregnant and a ‘virgin’. But it’s probably worth a read for the sheer amount of carnage and violence contained within its pages.

They say there are no original ideas out there, and we can believe that. Storytelling themes are universal and we understand when a character or scene gets “borrowed” here and there.

But it’s hard not to feel betrayed when you find out that some of the stories around which your entire childhood revolved were, for the most part, copied and pasted in with a cavalier attitude of, “the little bastards will never know the difference!”

We’re talking about…

#6 –   The X-Men

Mutated freaks gathered by their wheelchair bound mentor in order to protect a world that fears and hates them. You think we are talking about the X-Men? No we are not. Well, we will be in a second, and technically we are, but not in this paragraph, except for the parts where we do.

They are a Rip-Off of:

The Doom Patrol, which debuted in comics three months before everybody’s favorite, more marketable mutants.

Unlike the X-Men, the Doom Patrollers were once normal people who suffered an accident that disfigured them but also gave them superpowers. Shunned by the world for just being plain ugly, the freaks were gathered by Doctor Caulder, a paraplegic, who thought that maybe the world wouldn’t dislike them so much if they used their powers to save the normal people’s asses from giant robots once in a while.

If this sounds somewhat familiar to you, it’s because the same thing as X-Men with the only difference that the smart guy in the wheelchair was bald in one and X-Men uses mutants as an allegory for minorities instead of people with elephantiasis or whatever the heck Doom Patrol was going for.

Even the tag line is the same! At least make an effort, guys!

Possibly, the most unnecessary thing borrowed by X-Men was the name of the Doom Patrol’s enemies: The Brotherhood of Evil. In Doom Patrol the name made sense; because they were a group of evil assholes, which got together to do asshole things. There was never any confusion about what the group was about.

On the other hand Magneto stole the name, added the word mutant at the end of it and then whined endlessly about how humans persecuted and hated him. Maybe people hated you, Magneto, because your group’s name was The Brotherhood of Evil Mutants and you went around the world trying to wipe out humanity?

How successful would the American Paraplegia Society be if they called themselves the Brotherhood of Child Molesting Guys on Wheelchairs? Magneto’s weak PR skills aren’t the only reason the original Brotherhood looks awesome by comparison …A brain in a case and an armed gorilla? How is Magneto more famous?

No, we’re not talking about the fact that The Lion King was Disney’s take on Hamlet (interestingly, Shakespeare originally intended to have his plays performed by animals but had to reconsider when his lions escaped and caused the London Massacre of 1600).

But Disney wasn’t happy to just rely on the bard, and massively ripped off an old Japanese cartoon just to wipe away any inadvertent hint of originality.

It is a Rip-Off of:

Kimba the White Lion.

Kimba, the small albino lion cub in the picture, is the creation of legendary Japanese cartoonist, Osamu Tezuka, creator of other famous characters like Astro Boy. And this is were you go “Kimba? But the Disney lion is called Simba. OH! Wait, they are lions and their names sound alike; that’s all?” Oh no, that’s not all, that’s just the tip of the iceberg. Or should we say theftberg?

(Ed: Since you asked, no, you should not.)Even though Disney denies it, it has slipped more than once that The Lion King was initially a remake of Kimba, including this early sketch with Simba colored white that was included in one of the DVD versions:

Maybe the color blind won’t notice.

At some point Disney decided not to inform whoever holds the right for Kimba about this remake, recolored the lion cub and went to town. The Lion King also borrows scenes and characters like the shaman monkey, Simba’s bird friend and the evil comedy relief hyenas.

The main bad guy in Kimba was Kimba’s aunt, while Disney’s version gave her a sex change operation and she became Simba’s uncle. And some of the most famous scenes from the movie were practically Xeroxed from Kimba, including the one where Simba speaks with the ghost of his father who appeared in the clouds.

Read the rest here:

Sometimes it can appear that there are no girls on the internet or on any video games. But 38% of the gaming populace is female and we’d like to take a moment to talk about why Gaming Girls rock. But don’t worry, we’re up to the task of being complimentary while adding as much sexual innuendo as possible.

#7 They’re easy to approach

“Uh, hi, uh, nice, um, shit. Dammit, I mean shirt.”

With a guy you’ve never met, you can walk up, say “Sup, man” and become life long friends. Going up to a girl to talk for the first time can be a task more panic inducing than having the power go out 5 seconds before you were going to save.

But if you know a girl that plays on the same realm as you do then a simple “Hey have you made a Death Knight?” could just be the start to a good friendship that may eventually lead to some raiding.

#6 Their self esteem is high(er)

As we mentioned in another article, playing games can teach you how to deal with obnoxious people. Gamer Girls can take that skill and amp it up even more by being able to throw back taunts like “you just got beaten by a girl.” And anyone who’s beaten a game on expert knows the euphoria that follows the final cutscene and credits. Just be in the same room with a Gamer Girl as she wins and you might find that you’re a winner too. *

*We’re either talking about how you will learn how to beat the final boss from her or the fact that in her excited state she will have sex with you without even being drunk.

#5 You’ll know them better than some of their other friends

Three to four hours spent raiding or courting headshots can be fun but many times it can be tedious. In those long periods of nothing spectacular happening, people usually start talking about stuff. This is no different with girls, except that a group of guys will probably not be talking about their feelings.

If you do a lot of online play with a Gamer Girl you’ll soon start learning many things, some which can be helpful the next time you’re looking for a date and other things that you could probably do without.

In the end you’ll have accumulated a vast knowledge of the feminine mind. But despite that information you will still never be able to understand why they like the Jonas Brothers.

#4 They’re Tech Savvy

If you play games for a while there’s bound to be times when stuff just stops working for no reason. Gaming girls, just like guys, learn to search for fixes, updates and where the best spot to kick your console into working again is located.

And as many of us guys are clueless we can learn that if they ever call us to come over and fix something, despite them knowing more than we do, we might just stumble our way into a great one on one match to see who comes out on top.*

*In case that wasn’t obvious enough, we’re talking about sex AND gaming with this one.

#3 They Don’t Mind If You Play Video Games

It seems like the simplest thing, you like video games and thus you play video games. To another guy this will make sense. To a girl, this might sound like an addiction. “How can you not want to spend time with me your girlfriend/platonic friend” they might say.

It’s not that we don’t want to spend time, we actually like doing that. It just so happens that we are on level 45 of a side scroller that uses passwords to save and our last pen ran out of ink and pausing the game for one second could completely destroy our momentum.

Gamer Girls get this. They understand that there are some times when you just gotta play. Once it’s over you’ll be there, they know that. They might even watch you play and try to help you out which can sometimes be helpful and sometimes hurtful. They might break out the PSP or DS and play a game of their own while they wait for you to finish.

Regular girls might snap and pull the plug on your computer and quite possibly on the life support system you’ll need after a ten inch stiletto heel spikes you in the gut.

#2 They’re equally as attractive as non gaming girls

Looks aren’t everything, right? Right?

Gaming girls come in all shapes and sizes, unlike male gamers who tend to come in extremely skinny or really, really big boned. Gamer Girls can be cute, hot, sexy or average.

At least until the costumes go on.

It’s a Gamer Girl Sandwich

If you go to a gaming convention dressed as your favorite character, chances are that the suit has some “adjustments” to accomodate the difference between your online avatar and reality.

Gamer Girls however, can do a pretty damn good recreation of their avatar, right down to the bright red breastplate, done to scale and with the correct amount of encrusted diamonds and gold lining.

#1 They Understand you

Male and female brains are wired differently. Females are more likely to like the color pink and guys are more likely to laugh at someone getting hit in the crotch by a ball.* A common interest in video games allows the male and female brains to cross the gap into understanding each other better. Gamer Girls know the pain of a weapon being retooled into a piece of crap and the joy of finding an exploit before anyone else.

And other than serving in the military during war times, games can forge a bond of friendship that you might not share with any other woman. Going through a six hour raid and sacrificing health and loot to save one another is something that Brazilian underwear model will never understand.

They also know how to handle a joystick.

* Footballs are the most comical balls to be hit with. They’ve done studies on this.

Source: Gameist

Someone almost murdered Tila Tequila last night.  Radar says…

(Around 2:00am this morning) her Twitter account posted disturbing messages about her being murdered.  A little after 4 am Tequila herself logged back into her Twitter account and laid out her disturbing evening…
“Pt1 This is Tila. I am deeply sorry for the earlier post about me being dead. I don’t know who logged into my account and wrote that.”
“Pt.2 but someone did indeed break into my house. It’s been a very scary night for me. it’s 4:10am now and have been dealing with it all.”
“Pt.3 too much has happened. I am scared, exhausted and drained but I am ok! Want to apologize to my fans who were worried about me”
“Im moving into a different house very soon because I have a stalker who is very much so endangering my life at the moment….I love u all.”
“They Broke everything in my living room….EVERYTHING IS SHATTERED! I’m so sad right now….this sucks.”
“Then I found my dog locked in the trunk of my car!!!!!!!!!! I’ve been crying all night. THis is fucked up. I’m sad and shocked and bye”
Around 4:30, Tequila understandably called it a night: “Im still shaking and crying! My dog in the trunk of the car, house is shattered, everything is smashed! I’m staying at a friend’s house 2nite.”

Her Twitter account now has the updates locked, but she appears to be okay.. I don’t know how i feel abou that ..

Many of us have heard of the so-called “ beer goggle ” effect. It’s the phenomenon that occurs when someone’s had a few alcoholic drinks and suddenly, all of those people who looked semi-attractive on entering the bar look really, really appealing. Scientists have shown that it’s not just a lowering of standards – alcohol actually stimulates the part of the brain that judges facial attractiveness. In 2002, researchers at St. Andrews University and Glasgow University in Scotland took 80 college students and had half of them drink a “ moderate ” amount of alcohol – between one and four servings, depending on gender and body weight. The other half, the control group, remained sober. Scientists showed each subject pictures of people of the opposite sex. In all cases – male and female alike – the experimental (tipsy) group rated each picture an average of 25 % more attractive than the sober group did.

The effect can reportedly be traced to the nucleus accumbens. When you’re looking at another human being, the nucleus accumbens is the area of the brain that decides how attractive that human being’s face is. If you look at, say, George Clooney or Angelina Jolie, this area of your brain probably experiences increased neural firing. In other words, it’s stimulated. As it turns out, alcohol, all by itself, stimulates the nucleus accumbens. So when you’ve have a few drinks, and you look at a face you may have judged as unattractive when you were sober, your brain, under the influence of alcohol, tells you that this face is in fact somewhat attractive. And the increase in perceived attractive seems to be directly proportional to the amount of alcohol consumed.

In a more recent study, this one conducted by researchers at England’s Manchester University in 2005, scientists actually came up with a mathematical formula to calculate the extent of the “beer goggle” effect on a given individual in a given situation. Their reasoning for creating this formula is that alcohol is not really the only factor affecting the drunken perception of beauty. Other factors, according to their research, include:

• How brightly lit the area is
• The observer’s eye-sight quality
• The amount of smoke in the air
• The distance of the observer from the observed
• The formula goes like this:

The formula goes like this:

Where:

• An is the number of servings of alcohol,
• S is the smokiness of the area on a scale of 0 – 10,
• L is the lighting level of the area, measured in candelas per square meter, in which 150 is normal room lightning,
• Vo is Snellen visual acuity, in which 6/6 is normal and 6/12 is the lower limit at which someone is able to drive and
• d is the distance between the observer and the observed, measured in meters.

The formula works out a “beer goggle” score ranging from 1 to 100+. When ß = 1, the observer is perceiving the same degree of beauty he or she would perceive in a sober state. At 100+, everybody in the room is a perfect 10 .

Six feet by Lev Tsimring

envy by Fulvio Pellegrini

Please wait a little by Marc Siewior

Turtle and apple by Vedran Vidak

Collaboration by ryandws

Kung Fu Master by Lina Gunawan

Softdrink Addict by Andrei

About a dream by Jurga

Sunshine in a cup by She Hates Monday

Tired by Bill Mangold

Teaser by Johan Lind

So Hungry by Heath Carney

Say, Harold, haven’t we seen her before? by Ursula I Abresch

I’ll never talk to you again by Adrifil

Passionate by Ursula I Abresch

You are my best Friend by Jani

Ohhh Nooooo!!! by Mark B Bartosik

Anatomy Lessons by Paul van Geldrop

No Birds by Sameli

Bicho by Barbara C.

All i can say to this is.. HAHAHAHAAHAHAHA

A dirty Russian wanted to forcibly stick his sinrod deep into a raccoon’s stink, but instead today the man finds himself penisless, the victim of a ferocious mauling by the teeth of his would-be furry victim.

Like so many stories that involve rape and pain, the backstory here started with a 44-year-old man named Alexander Kirilov and his best friends, who went out for a night of whiskey and whores.

Like me, many of you may have been at that point before. You have a long week at work or just want to get away from the pain in life, so you down us much booze as you can and let the alcoholic spirits set in until the fat, sweating hookers at a bar start to not look so bad.

Unlike millions of normal Joe’s who hit the weekend bar to get away from it all, however, this Kirilov took getting messed up to an all new level.

As he staggered outside bar, likely in a side alley, Kirilov saw a raccoon who must have been seductively sauntering around a trashcan, teasing the Russian with its flowing furry locks and exposed backside.

Kirilov then reportedly leaped onto the animal, pinning it down and trying to rape the creature.

Read more here:

These Japanese Bikini Jeans cross jeans with a thong – an attached bikini bottom secures the low-slung jeans to the hips.

A man just found out his girlfriend of 7 years had been working as a prostitute. Thank goodness the kind people of the internet were there to help him out… The man pleaded his cases on the internet and asked for Advice. Here is his post and the funny reponses:

The question:

I just found out my girlfriend of 7 years has been working as a prostitute. What should I do?

She said we needed the money, but I was working. We have a 3 year old son. I don’t know whether to leave her, as it would kill my son. yeah shes only been doing it for 6 months and i had no reason to suspect her as i thought she was working at hairdressing during the day and waitressing through the night and dont forget i have a son to concider as well and yes she was a prostitute not an escort

IF YOU HAVE A STUPID ANSWER KEEP IT TO YOUR SELF PLEA

The answers:

User 1:

Steps for to solve your problems.

1) Dip yourself in bleach or disinfectant pronto.
2) DUMP HER ***. If sleeps for money what else would she sleep for a Klondike
3) Get tested for diseases. Notice I said diseases!!!
4) Clean your house from top to bottom & and burn everything she ever slept on.

One question…. did’nt you notice something felt different when guys to had sex?

Word to the wise you cant turn a hoe into a house wife unless your a pimp

User 2:

This question is impossible to answer without knowing exactly how hot she is. If she’s a 8 or better (shrug) forgive and forget. 7 or lower? Not quite hot enough to tolerate prostitution.

User 3:

Be a guest on the Jerry Springer show.

User 4:

Buy a pimp hat